A girl, a side ponytail and a neon scrunchie

Friday, September 12, 2008 at 7:54 am · Filed under Social Adventures ·Tagged , , , ,

My aunt June passed away this week. She was actually my great aunt–oldest sister to my horseshit-and-gunsmoke grandma. She was 87 and I didn’t really know her well, mostly because she lived in Nebraska and also because she scared the holy bejesus out of me. She was very stern. She was also extremely religious. Extremely. However, I do have one memory of her that stands out and it happens to involve a Star Stage Microphone so it’s worth telling.

I don’t know if anyone remembers what exactly a Star Stage Microphone was, but it was the vehicle which pretty much allowed me to be Debbie Gibson at the tender age of 6. It was a microphone on a stand that swivled around and had a pedal on either side so I could make my voice echo (left pedal) or carry the note that I was belting out (right pedal), should I deem it necessary during my performance.

At one particular family reunion (the only one we’ve ever had of substantial size and caliber–we rented out a whole resort!), I was about 6, and I insisted on bringing my Star Stage Microphone so I could compete in the talent competition. When you have a family the size of a small infantry, you can do these kinds of things. So the night of the talent competition rolled around and I had one of the women in my family put my hair in a side ponytail that was secured with a neon scrunchie (because really, that was the only way to wear your hair) and I marched to the front of the room (there wasn’t really a stage) with my cassette tape, my boombox and my Star Stage Microphone in hand, very impressed with my “professional setup”.

Wanting to surprise everyone, I hadn’t told my mom what it was that I wanted to sing for the talent show.

I can assure you that she, and everyone else, including my dear, so-very-religious Aunt June, were aghast that my song of choice was late 80s Madonna, Like a Virgin.

Oh yes. Yes I did. I belted out every word to that tune, not having the slightest clue that a 6-year-old singing something about being touched for the very first time might be inappropriate. Just maybe.

I think I gave Auntie June a heart attack. My mother wasn’t far behind her. But man did I rock that night.

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A bottle of orange juice

Thursday, September 11, 2008 at 11:51 pm · Filed under Thoughts & Ponderings

My mom used to tell this story about me from when I was little. I was young–too young for school, but too old to still want a baby bottle of orange juice. The clue that told her I was too old was probably something like me climbing on the counter and fixing the bottle myself. So one day, she asked me, ‘when do you think you’re going to be too old for that and put the bottle away?’ I responded with, ‘when the kids go back to school,’ meaning the older kids in our neighborhood who would soon start school in the fall. Clue number 2: I was talking in complete sentences. But then that first day of school came for the kids and I gave up my bottle of orange juice, just like that.

I wish so desperately that I had that same characteristic right now. I wish I could tell myself to stop feeling the way that I do and then just do it. Flip the switch and be done. I want to be done with my bottle of orange juice.

This week was a hard week. Lots of ups and downs. For the record, these ups and downs have tired me out but now that it’s after 11pm, funny how my eyes won’t close. It has been a test of wills for me this week. All the new and exciting things in my life that I want to share with him, but knowing that he isn’t my sounding board anymore. So I resisted the urge. And I keep telling myself, I am really good at faking normalcy. Like super really good at pretending that I’m fine. Hell, I did it for two years of knowing him, what’s a couple more go arounds? It’s so much so that I have turned it into a game with myself and figure the longer I can hold out, the prouder I should be of myself. It’s a little masochistic, if you really think about it. After one particular high note this week, I actually hit his speed dial in my phone (yes, his speed dial is still in there, along with other things I haven’t brought myself to get rid of because they are the only pieces of him that I have left. They were words he shared only with me and there are still times when I need them), only to slap the phone shut with a shake of my head and a feeling of astonishment that the autopilot still exists in my mind. But I didn’t crack and call.

So tonight I had cake batter ice cream for dinner because I thought that would cheer me up. Well that was a mistake for a number of reasons. For starters, ice cream does not a dinner make. Secondly, I haven’t actually consumed that much in the past couple days because when big things happen–good or bad big things–I get a nervous stomach and can’t keep food down very well. So this week was good for at least three pounds. But that being said, if one hasn’t eaten much of late, ice cream maybe isn’t the best thing to go for. And third, it just is a reminder of this.

I miss him. I miss the best friend more than anything. I look at him and want to go back to the last time he held me so I can feel his arms again and feel safe and normal. Everyone tries to tell you ‘it wasn’t meant to be’ or ‘hey, aren’t you glad this happened before you married him’. No. No I’m not glad. Because it shoulda been me. That is MY life. But what gets me “through”–that makes this the slightest bit easier–is the fact that he didn’t trust in us enough and I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t trust in the “us” of the relationship enough. He didn’t know that I loved him enough to weather a storm with him. I would have if he’d asked me to. He was that important to me. But he didn’t ask. I don’t know that he wanted to, maybe that’s why he didn’t ask. Who knows.

So all that I have learned is why you can’t be best friends with an ex. Answer: Because it’s inappropriate if the aforementioned ex has someone new. Because you no longer have any business claiming him as your best friend. And that’s the part that is the hardest to deal with.

All I know is that I could really use that bottle of orange juice.

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Update: Dumpster Diving, part deux

Monday, September 8, 2008 at 10:28 pm · Filed under Social Adventures

I tried to use my Banana Republic gift card this weekend.

There was nothing on it. I went through the garbage for nothing.

I was sad.

So I bought summer-to-fall transition sweaters. It made sense in my head at the time.

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A grapeleaf? How interesting…

Thursday, September 4, 2008 at 9:26 pm · Filed under Social Adventures ·Tagged , , , ,

I went to Target last night. An original way to spend a Wednesday night, I know. But I hadn’t been in like, 3 whole days and you should all know by now that I need a good TGT fix every few days to continue functioning (and also to plan the big redecoration of my house that will actually take place only in my head).

As I browsed the aisles with a 12-pack (of coke…I’m fully stocked with Coors Lites thanks to my brother housesitting a few weeks ago) and a box of hair dye, I decided it was time to go home. As I approached the check out counter, I went to swipe my debit card because with the advent of the debit card, we also all know that I never carry cash. Ever. I will run a debit card on a $2.19 coffee. It didn’t go through (which the checker so graciously announced to the line that had formed behind me. I sighed and told her to run it as a credit card instead and as I went to swipe it again, I noticed it. The dreaded expiration date. That said 08/08. Yesterday would be considered 09/08.

To quote Emily: Fail!

Now, I guess I shoulda prefaced this story with the fact that I also do all my banking online. Therefore have zero need for the paper statements, which are still delivered to my parents house, which I inevitably tear up and throw away.

Rewind to Monday night when I was over there having dinner and my mom handed me my mail. I thumbed through, ripped up and tossed in the kitchen garbage.

Bad idea for someone whose debit card, aka sole method of financial dependence is due to expire.

Return to TGT. I sigh again write a dumb check like it’s 1987 and take my coke and hair dye and proceed to the car where I try to reach my parents because it has occurred to me that Thursdays are garbage days in the BV and that means the trash gets taken out on Wednesday night so I must catch them before that happens. I had a sinking feeling that what I had ripped up on Monday night was my new debit card.

Of course, no one answered so I drove over and let myself into the empty house and made a beeline to the kitchen garbage.

Empty.

Boo.

So I proceed to grumble all the way out to the garbage can on the side house where the cans had yet to be pulled to the curb.

And it was then that I hit my low and began to dig through the garbage. Classy.

I found coffee grounds (which I later had to clean from under my nails), the old veggies that clearly hadn’t made it to the table but had died a disgusting death in the crisper, lots of dryer sheets and old college notes that must have belonged to my brother, which were covered in all of the aforementioned items…it was GROSS.

At one point, my hopes were raised when I saw a magnetic strip. On a high note, it turned out to be a perfectly good Banana Republic gift card. But alas, no new ATM card. As I continued through the second (and thankfully, last) bag, I found the piece of mail I had ripped up on Sunday. Hooray!

It was a statement and not a card.

I dug through the garbage for nothing.

Major fail.

I was so disgusted that after I disinfected my entire upper body just to be safe, I helped myself to icecream and my dad’s recliner and watched Baseball Tonight. It made for an interesting story when they walked in and saw me with my feet up and a very large bowl of chocolate chip icecream.

As a side note, icecream can make anything feel better. Whoever invented it deserves a big hug. After I explained to my parents why I had been digging through their garbage, they told me they never saw any mail for me that looked like it might contain a bank card and I had probably dug through the garbage for nothing. Thank you for that insight.

I promptly informed the president of the bank that I was in need of a new ATM/Debit card and vacated the recliner.

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Another fine piece of quality reporting

Wednesday, August 27, 2008 at 6:24 pm · Filed under Sports, because, have you met me? ·Tagged ,

Seriously??

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Becoming part of the Brew Crew

Sunday, August 24, 2008 at 7:22 pm · Filed under Social Adventures, Sports, because, have you met me? ·Tagged , , ,

Saturday night (post Field of Dreams euphoria) we headed to Milwaukee for a Brewers game. I had been looking forward to this park the most and it didn’t disappoint. Tickets were sold out for the Saturday night game (as it should be) and right when we pulled into the parking lot you could feel the baseball vibe. It could have been the wonderful smell of the charcoal grills going that set the tone but immediately on entry, the atmosphere was set. These fans know how to watch a game. They are all in their colors and rooting and cheering…it was as baseball on a Saturday should be.

And of course, they had the Miller Park Sausages running around before the game. Check this out for the start of a Saturday night show?

And while we found tickets outside the stadium that weren’t being used, they were in the last row of the loge section and were covered so you couldn’t see the outfield jumbotron which seriously bummed me out. I would have to give Miller Park a high 8. The atmosphere is really what sets the tone for me. The only thing keeping it from a 9 is that obstructed view in the loge level where our tickets were. Luckily, we swooped in on some seats that were unoccupied. These seats were on the same level but in the first row and ended up being probably the best seats of the entire trip. I was on the first base side of homeplate but even with the dish, in line with the 3B line.  And how’s this for a view from our newly acquired seats? Remind me to thank the people in Section 217, Row 1 Seats 1-4 for not coming.

Can you say phenomenal??

And of course, the traditional racing of the sausages in the middle of the 6th inning:

Polish Sausage won, btw.

So Milwaukee was my top yard choice for this trip, followed by St. Louis and Cincinnati. Detroit wasn’t bad but I didn’t get that atmosphere feeling that I got from the others. That was partially my fault for sitting with the fancy people and eating really well.

Cleveland just didn’t do it for me and KC gets the INC. All and all, a very awesome trip but I’m totally kicking myself for the 5:35am flight home to Cali. I think this must be what death feels like. I woke up at 3:45am in order to get my gear together and make it to the airport. This comes after the red eye to kick off the trip and my impromptu trip to NoLa on Thursday, which also came complete with early-ass flights on Thursday and Friday mornings. I’m racking up Continental miles like crazy. And I’m a regular at the Houston airport. And of course, post-KC game, we had to book it toward Milwaukee and the Field of Dreams so I didn’t get a ton of sleep Friday night either. I think my body has started to revolt. I have a headache and stomachache and just want my own CL-sized bed with sandbags for pillows.

If anyone calls me tonight past 8pm, it had better because someone needs a kidney or something because I will be studying the insides of my eyelids early, recouping from a killer baseball roadtrip.

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They built it, I came

Sunday, August 24, 2008 at 2:17 pm · Filed under Social Adventures, Sports, because, have you met me? ·Tagged , , , ,

Saturday morning was quite possibly the highlight of the trip and one of the most fun days of my life. I played in a pick up ballgame at the Field of Dreams movie site in Dyersville, Iowa. On the same freakin’ field where they filmed the movie. It was absolutely incredible—damn near a religious experience.

We arrived around 11am and I was already in awe upon pulling up. After doing a quick look around, we grabbed our gloves and played catch in the outside. I caught fly balls in the outfield of the Field of Dreams diamond. Are you kidding me? I can totally cross that one off my list of things to do before I die. The one thing that was immediately apparent was how much I suck now. It’s pretty much the most horrifying thing ever. I can’t even throw well anymore! When I first picked up the ball, I threw like a girl. A girl?!?! I could barely even hit ‘em in the chest. Ugh, simply disgusting. The good news is that I can still catch a fly ball or two.

There was, however, a little incident in which I accidentally smooshed the corn stalks. Like pretty much ripped it out of the ground when I fell going deep for a fly ball over my head (pretty much I ran into the wall with zero regard for my own personal safety—ha!) Check out these sequential shots. Awesome. Simply awesome.

Watching as the ball begins to sail over my head, into the corn

Falling into the corn, not making the catch, with a look of terror on my face

And this would be where I killed the corn

Then the magic happened. We just started a pick up game. I don’t even know how it happened really. Someone wanted to hit, so we all started shagging and before you know it, we’re playing. Incredible. It was the most awesome thing ever. Little boys and men and even another woman at one point (and thank goodness she didn’t throw like a girl!) As a side note, I was on deck when she was hitting and her son, about 5 or 6 years old, was standing next to me watching her hit (and hit well). I looked at the boy and said “geez, you’re mom sure is good!” He turned and looked me and said solemnly, “I know. She played t-ball.”

It might have been the best answer ever.

I played outfield and luckily for everyone on the team, nothing was hit my way.

The good news about my performance having tanked in the years since I played was that I can still hit (kinda).

I don't care how into the movie I am, I'm not choking on a hot dog without seeing Doc Graham present beforehand. PS- those are my teammates next to me.

Then of course are the traditional pictures that had to be taken because they were part of the movie scenes.

It was an absolutely incredible day. A pick-up game at the Field of Dreams. I can’t even put it into words. It felt so incredible to run around on the field and the weather was a perfect balance of sun and breeze and you have fans watching and…… I could go on forever about how amazing it was. Go. Immediately if not sooner.

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“Being in this family is like having a AAA card”

Saturday, August 23, 2008 at 6:54 am · Filed under Social Adventures, Sports, because, have you met me? ·Tagged , ,

Friday was spent in Kansas City with some cousins on my dad’s side. I have to say, I have it pretty good. I have relatives all over the country and despite these particular cousins being of the 3rd and 4th cousin variety, we all hang out quite frequently and I totally enjoy their company. I would be willing to bet that not many people hang out with cousins that far removed but on my dad’s side, we all do. It’s a pretty special feeling knowing that I can go just about anywhere in the United States and I have someone to call if I get in a jam or something. This particular trip I visited with my cousin Vinci, who is actually the wife of my dad’s first cousin. Vinci’s daughter Ann was in town from SD with her son Cameron who I hadn’t seen since he was a baby bump at my other cousin’s wedding two years ago. Vinci’s husband Dan (my dad’s first cousin, for those of you trying to map the family tree) came home for lunch and we all ate and chatted and got caught up.

Cameron was quite possibly the funniest two-year old ever. He doesn’t miss a trick. We were driving Ann and him to the airport to catch their flight home and we was pointing out cement mixers, street cleaners (the trucks that give the roads a bath) and was able to differentiate them all. The best was when he said “look Mommy, a convertible!” Sur enough, there was a mercedes convertible, with the top UP. He knew the difference. Ann’s response? “Can you tell we live in SoCal?”

The cutest was when he insisted on wearing his sunglasses like me. He had blue Thomas the Tank shades and asked me to put them on his face but when he saw mine on his head, that’s where his had to be. When I was goofing around and wearing them on the end of my nose like old-people-reading-glasses, he did the same. Freakin’ adorable. See?

Yep, I know we’re pretty darn cute

Post-airport drop off, Vinci and I went to the Plaza in KC and shopped around. We hit a couple of sales at some big name places where I normally would even afford sales at their lowest but of course, there were cute things and the extra 50% off the already reduced price didn’t hurt any. I had an absolute blast and am reminded that I need to hang out with all of my cousins more often. I smell a family reunion in the works!

I had a great time with my family before I headed out to the Royals game that night. I arrived just in time for the first pitch so I didn’t get to explore too much but since KC is pretty much under construction, I would have to give it an incomplete rating anyway. There was a whole lotta concrete going on there, which didn’t do it for me and for a Friday night game, the crowd left a little to be desired. Kauffman Stadium itself actually reminded me a bit of the Oakland Coliseum in look and feel. But the plans for the improvements look pretty cool so until I go back post-revamp, KC gets an INC (and isn’t worthy of a post solely its own.)

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Back to the National League

Friday, August 22, 2008 at 6:31 am · Filed under Social Adventures, Sports, because, have you met me? ·Tagged , , ,

Before I get too in depth with St. Louis, it should be known that I went to the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville and saw Kellie Pickler, Jeff Bates and Craig Morgan. All were phenomenal. While it can be said that music is my therapy (a whole other blog for another time) I can’t get over how much I enjoy live music. Certain songs and lyrics really evoke emotions out of me and being in the Grand Ole Opry was amazing. I think I had goosebumps the whole time.

Of course, there was also the fact that I got my picture taken with the King (kinda)

And the place where we had breakfast the next morning, which had delicious-flavored biscuits. So much so that I bought the cookbook. I now know how to make grits if I ever need to.

Okay, now onto St. Louis. It was a 7:05 start on Wednesday night and the Cards were playing the Pirates. We walked over from the hotel and this is what I saw first:

Busch Stadium, home of the St. Louis Cardinals

And of course, we all know I’m a sucker for historical baseball memorabilia and the like so I naturally had to have my picture taken with the statues of the Hall of Famers.

I like Rogers Hornsby, for reasons other than he is one of the greatest right-handed hitters to have played the game, because this was his take on the game:

“Any ballplayer that don’t sign autographs for little kids ain’t an American. He’s a communist.”

“I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.”

"People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." - Rogers Hornsby

Once inside, the view from our seats was pretty dang spectacular. Yep, I said dang. Check out this view towards left-center field. Postcard-like, amirite?

And did I mention that it rained in St. Louis while at the game? It was more like a heavy mist, but everyone scattered nonetheless. They were clearly not gamers. But that bit of rain also explains the minor drowned-rat look I have going for me:

I would give St. Louis a low 8 overall. The atmosphere was pretty good (especially for a Wednesday night game) and they definitely got bonus points for shutting down the concession stands during the playing of the National Anthem, which I thought was cool. Of course, I already had my food so… But the field was beautiful, it had a great view of the Arch, the food was decent (although I didn’t try the bratzel, which was the “can’t miss” on the NYT list. Something about a brat wrapped in pretzel dough seemed a bit heavy for me. Like an oversized pig-in-a-blanket.) And the deciding factor in the point scale was whether or not I would want to play ball there if I were a major league player and the answer was a definitive yes.

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Talent on loan from God

Thursday, August 21, 2008 at 8:02 pm · Filed under Social Adventures

Donny Robinson isn’t the only talented person from our graduating class, no sir! Check out Donny’s other half (aka the future hubby of my BFF)

So here’s the deal: We all (and by ‘we’ I mean anyone who reads my blog) know that Ben and Amanda are getting married. And newlyweds could always use money. And if you comment and rave about how hilar Ben is in this video, they could win $2500 via Carmex. So we need people to watch the video, give good ratings, comment, and tell everyone they know. The video is short and rating/commenting takes only a few seconds. So go on, vote for it. I mean, I am *lucky* enough to see Ben dance like this whenever I’m around him and he hears music, but now he can share his talent (that began with a little video I like to call “The Monk-ees”) with the world.

And if that isn’t incentive enough, Ben’s friend and co-star Eddie offered a 5-year supply of Carmex if he wins the grand prize.

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