I have an affinity for babies. I heart them. I really want one but not in the crazy-made-for-Lifetime-movie sorta way. I just really can’t wait to be a mom. Insert shocked face here.
Today, HJ let me practice for a few hours. Oh man. It was the most fabulous couple hours ever.
As soon as I arrived, littlebabygirlHearn was just waking from a nap (four month olds sleep a lot) and I was the happiest person ever because that meant that I didn’t have to wake her up to play. She was so cute and cuddly. And she can almost fit her tiny little fist in her mouth.
LBGH likes to explore. Her eyes are constantly taking in every sight, her head on a swivel. We looked at her in the mirror and her toothless, drool-laced smile at her own reflection made me hold her tighter. We walked around the house and danced without music. I heated her bottle and we snuggled on the couch as she slurped that down, her tiny fingers wrapped tightly around my single pinky. I just sat and smiled. She burped. It was a good one. Upstairs for a diaper change and it didn’t even phase me (note- a four month old’s baby poop doesn’t smell yet) as she giggled up at me from the changing table.
We played and danced some more after her feeding and changing. We cruised upstairs to her room to scan the book collection. I pulled out Peter Rabbit, my personal favorite, and began reading about Peter’s adventures in Mr. McGregor’s garden and LBGH went to town on her pacifier.
She was this perfect little sack of potatoes in a pink-striped onesie.
After her book, I got the cranky-ready-for-a-nap cry and I held her in my arms, rubbed her back and sang softly until her eyelids gently closed.
It was the most perfect, serene moment I have experienced in a long time.
It made me realize so many small things that I hope I get a chance to experience–like getting to rock my own baby to sleep with a lullaby and how if they are tired, I’m the only one who they will want to hold them. Or when they get a little bigger, I can take my kids to a pumpkin patch in the fall and watch them climb on bales of hay. I am so excited at the possibility of those moments that the very thought of not ever having them scares me to tears.
I have gotten back into my Jon & Kate plus Eight Monday night routine. Regardless of the Aunt Jodi drama, my j&k haitus did me good. Because I watched the episode where they went “camping” in their own backyard. Kate was so tickled to see the expressions on her kids’ faces at the thought of going camping in their backyard, that it made me think about all the small things that may end up being big things to my children and how I hope and pray that I will have a chance to have these small moments, along with the big ones. j&k took the kids camping…not to a ‘fancy campground’ (is that an oxymoron? Probably.) or somewhere far away. Just their backyard. And they roasted marshmellows and made s’mores and slept in tents. In the pouring rain. Because the kids were too excited to cancel the ‘trip’. So Kate sucked it up and did it for them. So kudos to her. I hope that I get to have an opportunity to take my kids camping in the backyard in the pouring rain. And I will be thankful that I had an opportunity to do it. To have them roast marshmellows and watch their faces light up at the thought of the experience.
I think of lots of things that I hope I get to do with my kids. I think of first steps and first words. I know it’s lame but I cried when channel surfing landed me on Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood when their son took his first steps. Yep, I’m that chick.
All these thoughts brought on by the small sack of potatoes in the pink-striped onesie. I can’t wait for my own sack of potatoes.
HJ, congrats on having a perfect baby. Now can I borrow her again?
