Bored & (sometimes) Witty

I recently mentioned that I really need out of California. Well, maybe I shoulda been a little more specific. Out of the town might do me just fine. I have since come up with an additional three reasons to add to the list.

Whilst grocery shopping today (to shop for the ingredients for deviled eggs that I have been so desperately craving as of late) I ran into a basketball mom who I knew from the high school circuit. Naturally, I was without makeup and sleep so I was dazed and confused when she flagged me down just past the produce.

Pleasantries were exchanged about the family and then, the dubious question that has often been posed to me over the past 3 months was asked: So, how’s that guy you were seeing during football and basketball season? You guys seemed pretty serious. Do you think he’s The One?

First of all, that really is how many people here reference time and space: by appropriate sport season. I’m guilty of it too. But then comes the awkward pause and then the standard answer: Yea….it didn’t really work out. You know, the “yea” that is actually about 5 syllables when it’s uttered? That one.

Then we’re both unsure of what to say next so we opt for the standard ‘it was nice seeing you’ and ’say hi to the family’ and we quickly push our carts in the opposite directions. Really, it’s just as awkward for the person as it is for me, through no fault of either of ours.

So there we have Reason #679 to leave–to escape a place where everyone knows you as one-half of a former couple. Especially when all of those people have only seen you with one person in your entire lifetime. Because you knew just how major it is to bring someone into that world so you chose wisely so you thought. And yes, I am running from the past. So what of it?

Which brings us to Reason #680. The now-infamous Wow, I didn’t know Tom and Molly had a daughter line when I’m introduced to someone. This post-introductory line comes complete with shocked expression on the part of the newly educated, a ho-hum nod of my head, and my mom adding something about how people used to say that about her in her family growing up, as a bonus round. I think I should start by responding with something like ‘well of course you wouldn’t know about me. I’ve been locked up in the tower for the past 25 years with lots of cats and my invisible friend Harry. They only let me out if I promise to not drool, mumble profanities or wear a burlap sack dress.’ Then walk away.

Reason #681 is simply because I’m sick of still finding confetti in my house, leftover from football season. All 14 weeks of it.