I haven’t blogged lately, mostly because I haven’t had anything witty or otherwise charming to say. As KK would say, I have been a ray of sunshine. I have not felt exceptionally witty lately as I have been very busy with Thanksgiving (rounds 1 and 2). I did, however, enjoy my holiday–mostly because I learned new sayings from my grandma that’d be the horseshit and gunsmoke one. For instance, politics came up because what family meal would be complete without such a conversation and someone asked her to whom she thought she might be giving her vote. When they suggested a particular candidate, she promptly responded “I wouldn’t give them the fuzz off my underwear.” And I promptly giggled.
But aside from that, there hasn’t been anything earth-shatteringly funny and I have just about maxed out my monthly quota of my thoughts and ponderings category. Those are always good for a few tear-jerker ramblings. And it’s not like I have suddenly met the man of my dreams and he has swept me off my feet. Now *that* would be a blog posting!
However, I was watching television on Saturday morning (post-Indians victory against Elk Grove: Section Championship game, here we come!) and I saw what I thought sounded like the most entertaining reality show since Rock of Love!
Now, there was no Bret Michaels, but it was called Surprise Weddings and it involved women who surprised their boyfriends and proposed while wearing their wedding dresses. Now, first of all and most importantly these wedding dresses were absolutely atrocious. I mean, there was one poor gal who looked like she might be proposing to Rambo in her lacy and pearl-studded head piece.
But let’s get back to the premise of said reality program. Women who surprised their boyfriends with a *marriage* proposal. These poor men never had a clue. They were roped in under the guise that their girlfriends, many of whom they had only been with for about a year or so, were getting make overs. And when these woman were asked what the hold up was, they yes all 5 of them, answered that their men were commitment-phobics. As if that answer weren’t a good enough reason to not get married, the brides-to-be also cited financial reasons as in their boyfriends didn’t feel financially ready to support a wife as a reason for them not proposing.
Well then yes! Of course the natural course of action would be to rope them into an on-air marriage in which not only is their fear of commitment spotlighted but their masculinity is also challenged by their girlfriends–some of whom actually got on a knee in their hideous dresses.
The show went on as each of the five potential grooms were brought out one by one and I was forced to laugh through what could only be deemed as the most ridiculous set of proposals I have ever heard. I think one of them went something like “hi honey, we have navigated some rough waters but I think we’re ready to dive on in.” Wow. Then these men were not allowed to say anything, were escorted back to a solitary room where they had 30 seconds to phone-a-friend and not only explain why they were calling but also get advice. Because 30 seconds builds the drama.
I was totally into this show. It was 2 hours and the first first bride-to-be was an ice-skater and she had fallen in love with her ice-skating partner. I was not so secretly hoping he was going to come out of the closet when given the opportunity to answer her proposal. And I thought for sure that at least one potential groom was bound to say no.
Alas. I was left unsatisfied and all five couples got married. What comedic build-up for such an undramatic ending.
And to cap it all off, the actual ceremony took place during the last half-hour of the show so the romantical moment known as their wedding day will forever be captured on film.
I wonder how many of these five women played dress up when they were little and envisioned their marriage proposals as them getting on a knee in front of a live studio audience because their boyfriends of barely 365 days weren’t proposing a lifetime commitment after such a time period.
I know I always did when I was little.
