I am thoroughly aware of the fact that I have been shirking my blog responsibilities but I have a good reason. I have been quite the jet-setter, traveling for work for the past couple days and in the days pre-travel, I have been my alter-ego event coordinator self setting up the agenda for the almost two weeks I am gone. So there.
However, my travels have allowed me to see some very interesting sights. For instance, a man in front of me on the plane was ordering a drink and he ordered milk. What a healthy choice, I thought to myself. Until I looked over again a little while later and noticed that had poured the milk over ice cubes.Ew. It reminded me of the story that my dad and uncles used to tell about my grandpa and how one night at dinner, the kids were complaining about eating their vegetables or something and my grandpa told them all that if they ate them all up, he would have a surprise treat for them after dinner. They of course gobbled up whatever aforementioned vegetable course was on the table and eagerly awaited their treat.
As my grandpa returned to the table with their after-dinner surprise, he proceeded to put ice cubes in their milk and laugh hysterically as the kids looked back and forth at each other in disbelief. It bordered on cruel and unusual punishment if you ask me. If you wanted watered down milk, drink fat-free. That stuff is practically transparent it’s so thin! Gross. And don’t try to tell me he was just keeping his milk chilled. There are way better methods. Ice cubes in the cup isn’t one of them. So here was this poor man on the plane, whose father had probably done the same tricks to him that my grandpa did to my dad and uncles and it stuck.
My time on the plane, void of ringing cell phones and email access has also allowed me time to ponder my Christmas gift list. With only 12 shopping days left until Christmas, and today is slowly dwindling I have officially done zero shopping. So if you are either one of my brothers or my mom or dad and you are reading this, I haven’t gotten you anything yet. Don’t worry though; whatever I come up will be stellar I hope.
Here is the part where I shamelessly solicit gift ideas from anyone who may happen upon my blog. I need to shop for Joe who just turned 23 and is a recent college grad awaiting his CBEST test results so he can start substitute teaching. There’s Ted, who is a freshman on the Long Beach State baseball team I like that I can get away with calling him a dirtbag now that he goes to LBSU and then there’s Mom and Dad. Four gifts but I gotta make ‘em good.
Airplanes aren’t the only method of transportation that I have enjoyed (endured?) lately…a taxi ride always provides entertainment, especially if your driver is one of those chatty ones. I got to hear all about how he came over from Cuba on a raft and ended up in Miami (second time was a charm by the way—the first time, he was nearly captured by the Cuban officials but he swam 3 miles away from them and hid under water. Good plan.) The best part was when he asked where I was going and why. I told him and since he was putting out somewhat of the creeper vibe, I told him to visit my boyfriend who is built like a linebacker. Okay, maybe I didn’t say that part right then. But I did be sure to throw it in there. For those of you playing at home, I fed him that line to keep him from asking anymore personal questions.
However, my plan backfired and he asked me the personal of all personal questions. No it was not “have you had your eggs checked”…that hasn’t happened for at least two years and that is a question that should be asked, um, never. Not even by my girly doctor because she’d have my chart and already know the answer. My taxi driverproceeded to ask me if I had had the HPV vaccination yet. I’m not kidding. He followed it up with the caveat that he asks that of all his young female passengers. OK, well I feel much better now. He proceeded to tell me about how it can be spread even if a condom is used. Seriously?!? One can only deduce that he felt the need to ask a question of this subject matter because he was in Texas. Before any Texans get all hot and bothered by the previous statement, read on. I only say that because, if memory serves, there was a big to do in Texas where all young girls in elementary schools were being forced to have it and it caused a ruckus because of the subject matter and a woman’s choice versus government forcing her to receive said vaccination. Or something to that affect. All I can say is that I’m thrilled that my taxi driver is doing his civic duty.
When I get home, I’m holing up in the Nook and not coming out. Ever.
